Today is one of those days where I have to choose to be content.
I hate having to choose to be content, but it's better than the alternative.

I have been terrible at updating.  I think I might finally be over blogging.  I don't think I have the personality for it.

Lots of Thoughts

I'm back in Tejas after a long drive.  I've grown to like the drive by myself.  I found all these old mixed CDs from highschool and it was fun popping them in seeing what was on them all.  It brought back a bunch of old memories.  My favorite surprise was putting in a CD labled "Lauren's pop/hip-hop 2006" made by an old best friend from drill team and hearing "stelletos, pumps in the club!"  I started to crack up in the car by myself.  I was glad to be alone so I wouldn't be as embarassed for knowing all the words...
A 10 hr car ride alone also makes good time for thinking.  I though a lot about my current situation and how much things can change and have changed in a only year.  A year ago I couldn't wait to get married.  I couldn't wait to get home.  All I wanted was to graduate, go to med school, get married and have lots of babies.  Well now I only want half of those things.  I think the biggest change is going from having a thought out and planned future, to having no idea what will be happening in my life next month.  I don't like not knowing.  I HATE not knowing.  I'm learning though.  I'm now OK with not knowing.  It's still taking awhile to get used to.  To figure out my life again.  But I'm getting there.  I still want to get married, but I don't give a crap about the wedding.  I would be happy in a gorgeous dress, and getting married in the court house.  What a waste of time and money and energy into one day.  This feeling will probably change, but right now that's how I feel.  I feel like it's a waste and selfish and awful to waste so much money on decorations and other pointless crap.  I don't think I want kids.  I could change my mind a million more times about this one as well, but as of right now I cannot imagine being a good mother.  I don't feel like I'm maternal.  I don't feel like I'd be a good home maker at all.  I can't decorate, I'm not crafty, I'm not creative, I don't have the patience to cook anything that takes more than 20 minutes to make, or dirties more than one dish.  I don't like playing with babies.  They're cute for about 10 minutes and then they're just boring.  And they're SO MUCH resposibility!  I spent the night at my friends house recently and she's a step mom to a 6 year old.  I was floored when I saw what a good mom she was.  I was also floored at everything she has to think about and does for her baby girl.  I feel like after sitting down and actually thinking about what I value, what's important to me, and what I want out of life I've realized that having children and being a good home maker just aren't a part of that.  This is significant because these things were very important to my ex-boyfriend.  I don't care about any of it.  Goodness how things can change in a year.  I'll probably write several other posts about this topic and y'all can follow my thoughts as I continue to grow and change from this whole experience.

also, I forgot how boring my small town can be without a boyfriend.

Good News

I am a size 2 again!  I never thought I'd be able to say that.  I just heard Jill Zarran say taste everything, eat nothing.  Haha, maybe that will help me loose the last 3 pounds I'm trying to shed.
I'm not a big wine drinker.  It's much to dry for my taste.  But.  In the last week I've had wine almost every night. Save nights before a final of course.  I might open a bottle in a bit.  I guess that makes me a big drunko.  Oh well!
I'm still in Lincoln, enjoying my time here before I head on home tomorrow.  Christmas shopping has been difficult this year.  I can't seem to think of the perfect gifts for people like I did last year.  Also, I can't focus on writing an entry because I'm watching the movie Fear with my old roomie.  It's creepy as hell.  It's also obviously takes place in the north because there is no way a family in TX would let this go on.  And you'd be hard pressed to find a family in the south that didn't own a gun, which would solve the problem right quick.  It also wouldn't make a very interesting movie.
My sister is having knee surgery today.  Keep her in your prayers!

Apparently we ARE back in HS

I like how no one from high school except Hill and Kandice talks to me until Kyle and I break up.  Then everyone wants to randomly chat and ask me questions about if and why we broke up.  If you haven't talked to me in over three years, why do you even care if we break up?  There is good news though!  I no longer care if you gossip, and speculate about when or why we broke up.  I do care when you interrupt my study time to ask me about it.  So if you want to gossip go ahead.  My life really isn't all that interesting (hello I have like 9 followers..) but If you want me to act like it is so you can have stories to tell I will.  I'll say that Kyle and I broke up because of a horrible cheating scandal.  Multiple other partners were involved and there was hitting, and crying and lying.  Juicy enough?  Run and tell that.

In August I didn't know how to feel.
I was mad all of September.
I cried all of October.
I was crazy all of November.
Hello to a fresh start in December?
Hello to not feeling a thing.
Maybe I'll be happy in January.

welcome to my life.

Deleting or blocking me on facebook doesn't really do anything when you're friends with about 5 other people I know and have facebook login info for.  But I guess it's good to know you don't like me.

I am NOT ready for Christmas.  I have almost no Christmas shopping done and a TON of people to buy for.  Christmas with a big family is always more hectic than one with a traditional family of four and when you add in friends it just gets complicated.  I still need to buy for Amanda, Sarah, Rachel, Emma, momma, dad, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, Nate, Aimee, Katelin, Katherine, and Hailey.  I've started some of my shopping for my momma and Amanda and Rachel but I can't just buy them one gift.  They need "accessory gifts" to complement the first big gift.  This is why I always spend way too much money on Christmas.
Also, Hailes kept me up till 3am last night talking about boys.  Today I am dead and I need to go into work.

Dec. 7, 2010

One thing's for sure sweet baby, I always take the long way home.
Come with me, together we can take the long way home.

Iden

The universe does not want me buying some new winter boots.  True I already have 2 pair, but hello this is Nebraska!  I have some Uggs (fake ones because I wear them so hard for like 5 months straight in the salt, snow and sand that I need a new pair every season), I have some grey slouchy suede gianni bini boots, and all I want is some cognac riding boots, like the ones pictured below.  They're called Iden from Steven by Steve Madden

I first tried buying them on Amazon.com because I had a coupon code that gave me $25 off.  Then upon checking my email I found that Amazon had mysteriously refunded my money and the order was canceled. I was annoyed but not terribly so because I found the boots at shoes.com with a coupon code for 20% off which turns out is $32 so I ordered the boots for $7 less and I was happy.  Just now when checking the status of my order because I am eagerly awaiting their arrival in my mailbox, I find my shoes.com order has been "refunded."  I have to wait till tomorrow morning to call and figure out why it was canceled.  I just want my boots already so please let me buy them!!  Oh, and of course now both sites are out of my size...

So long & farewell

Whelp.  We lost the Big XII Championship.  The Sooners bested us in a pretty good game and they deserved to win because they played better. Congrats to the Sooners!  I wish we could have won to leave with a bang, but alas it's only football.  I'd also like to say that although I hope to never permanently reside in this state, I love UNL and it was the right school for me.  I will always love UNL no matter the wins or losses and no matter what conference we play in.

Now, ya'll know how much I hate Nebraska winters.  How the 50 mph winds rip right through you and chill you to the bone on your way to class no matter how many layers you have on.  How it is impossible to walk through the strip between Oldfather and Andrews on a windy day.  How routes to class change as you try and walk through as many buildings as possible.  How when checking the weather in the morning I pray for low winds and double digits.  How I hate that the mountains of snow that fall and turn into brown mush with the sand on the sidewalks.  How lugees get frozen on the sidewalk for all to see and be sickened by.  Ya'll know I hate winter.  Well, I want some snow.  I really want some pretty fluffy white snow.  Even though I know it will be gross and dreadful to walk in within a day, I still want some snow. I want it to feel like Christmas.

Total weight loss since about Nov. 5th comes to 14 pounds as of today.  None of my jeans fit anymore.  School/work stress makes me eat, emotional stress makes me up-chuck.  But good news I'm back to eating and I can't say I'm not glad I lost the weight... I'm almost a size 2 again! I had the most delicious lunch today though. A low carb wheat tortilla roll up with turkey and salsa and a pinnapple empanda from Marquez Bakery and Tortilla Factory in Grand Prairie.  Delicious!  I've got an ever dwindling stash in my apt that I brought back from Texas.  Now, I've alway been a huge fan of Mexican sweet bread but yesterday when I ate a marranito I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  Marranitos have always been my sisters favorite, never mine, but this one was suuuuper delicious!  Could I talk about food enough?
Um in other updates I got an A on my last micro exam meaning I can skip out on taking the final (on Dec 17th) and still get an A in the class.  Awesome.
And how have I not mentioned the Big XII Championship yet!?  I wish I was going but I have a micro lab write up, analytical chem lab notebook, and Spanish civ paper to do this weekend.  I'll probably watch it with some friends, maybe at a bar downtown instead.  I just hope we kick some Sooner butt and leave the Big XII with a bang.  Go Big Red!!

I wrote an entire (long) post and deleted it.  Now I'm not sure what I want to say.

It's a lot trickier to reject guys [politely] when you don't have a boyfriend to hide behind.

That's it for now I suppose.
More comprehensive post to come.

I cannot even describe how excited I am to go home.  I'm pretty sick of school and it's so hard to stay motivated and focused to get things done.  My grades have been slipping over the past two months... not good!  I should still be able to make A's in 3 of my classes but my chem class I'm just shooting for a B+.  Not exactly what I was hoping for, especially when I'll have to work my tail off to get an A in Microbiology (my easiest class) without taking the final when before I was breezing by.  Anyway, I'm excited to go home and see all my lovely friends that I've been missing.  Namely Hill and Ben.  I'm even more excited to see my sisters though.  Only a few more days.  Pray I make it through them...

I don't know how to start eating again.
In the last week and a half I've been surviving on orange juice, a piece of pizza, and a bowl of chicken noodle soup.  The orange juice is the only thing that stays down...  Everything else I try and force down comes back up 15 minutes later, so in general I haven't been eating save once a day.
It started out that I was sick.  Fever, cold, running nose the usual.  Then it became stress and lack of sleep and now I can't seem to keep anything down although I don't feel sick anymore.  I've lost 12 pounds since last Saturday (Nov 6).  I'm trying for some pasta with lemon juice tonight.  Think my body will reject the lemon too?  I threw up an apple yesterday so I never can tell.  I tried to eat a teacup (yes only a teacup!) of cereal today and I made it through half before feeling nauseous and vomiting.  My body is trying to tell me something, I'm just not sure what...?  Sorry for the gross post, but that's about the most interesting thing that's going on in my life right now...

OK.
Kyle and I broke up.
awhile ago, but we've been slow to let people in on it...
No questions please.

Sorry, it's been awhile.  I've probably lost a bunch of my regular TX readers already... well this update it going to be VERY brief.  I'm dropping a bombshell soon.  That's my update.  And here's a low quality photo of my weekend downtown for Hailey's birthday that just so happens to be my favorite picture of the night.

This weekend was terribly bittersweet, but mostly sweet I guess..  Going to D.C. was amazing.  I didn't really spend anytime in the city (save driving around at night sight seeing, but never getting out of the car) because Alicia lives in the country in Maryland.  So gorgeous.  I loved being able to spend time with one of my dearest friends.  In the last four years we haven't seen much of each other so we so appreciate the time we do have together.  I'll post pictures tomorrow when I don't have Spanish to do...  Goodnight.

Two decisions = done!

Decision number one is done!  As long as I don't go back and change my mind...  and Decision number two: I think I'm going with winter boots.  I've been wanting some, and I'll get the most use out of them.
I've been brewing for a while now over a topic that just gets under my skin.  Post about it to come.  But first, a Spanish presentation, micro lab midterm, micro lecture quiz, biochem paper, biochem quiz, and laundry.  LOTS of laundry.  I'm terribly busy with lots to do before I leave for D.C. on Thursday!  I'm so excited to see my very best friend get married :)  Most of my friends don't really know who Alicia is, or why she's important to me but I spent 15 hrs a week for 6 years with this girl at Aerials.  We did gym together and grew up together and there is something different about sharing your life with someone in a team-setting.  Gymnastics isn't really a team sport (it kind of is, but it's way more about individual accomplishments).  And that something bonds you like nothing else can.  You laugh together, cry together, fall face first of the edge of the balance beam while dismounting together.  Everything is shared.  Maybe it's also because of the emotional connection you share with the sport.  Anyway, I love all of my [girl] friends like sisters and treat them as such, but this one is especially close to my heart.  She's had the worst years of her life since college and it brings me to tears to know that she has finally found the one and happy!  I love you gus!!
OH YEAH! I almost forgot but the Director of the University Health Center on campus nominated me to be the student representative on the University Health Center Governing Board!  I got an email from the Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs (Juan Franco) appointing me.  I'm pretty excited.

Thinking about blowing a crap ton of money to make myself feel better.  Any suggestions?
I'm thinking brown winter boots, cowboy boots, or an expensive piece of jewelry... Maybe a new wardrobe all together...?
It's guaranteed to make me feel better for at least 2 days.  And after my two day high, I'll come back to reality and deal with my life.
At least I have the best roommate in the entire world who sleeps with me in my bed on the weekends when we don't have class and comforts me (she knows I love sleeping with other people, weird...yes I know).  Thanks Aimes.

I'm just as bad about making major decisions for myself as I ever was.  Remember on a post long long ago when I said that within a year I will make some major decision, by myself?  Well that decision is here and it's harder to make than I ever thought it'd be.  Maybe it's because I know that the decision I need to make isn't the one I want to make...

So this will make 3 football related posts in a row, but I got a ticket to the TX game!  My good friend is going out of town (I still wish I was road-tripping it to CO with him...) so he's not using it, he knew I wanted one, and gave it to me.  Awesome!
now for a more normal post from me (yeah it's so out of character for me to be so hyped up about Husker football, but I am...?).
I am now a cynic.  I don't know what I want.  I'm having a terrible time right now, and I hate a lot of things going on in my life right now.  Key word: NOW.  Hopefully this will pass soon.  Except that I know it won't.  Not until at least Thanksgiving, probably more like Christmas, maybe even never (and by never I mean more than a year from now).  I'd really like to fast forward my life.  Skip the bad, and jump straight to the good.

T-Magic

One of my friends made this video and it's sooo good! And pretty funny. I didn't even know he produced his own songs (OK so this is not an original song of his, but you know what I mean) until a mutual friend told me about it today! So in theme with my previous post, a song dedicated to T-Magic.

Once again, I'm a bit home sick, and once again I start to want material things to fill the void.
I've wanted this since last March, and it's on sale again.  And I will say that I no longer have my pear ring (due to unfortunate circumstances that if I talk about I'll cry so we'll avoid it) so I think I totally deserve another one!  Maybe once I get my fossil bag delivered tonight I'll start to feel a bit better...

New Obsession

OK.  I have become obsessed with looking up med schools and summer internships.  Sounds normal for a pre-med college student, but this is new to me.  Med school always seemed so far away, and mind you after 3 years of school, it's still 2 years away but now it feels closer.  Now all my friends are applying and getting interviews and waiting to hear back.  And now I'm obsessed with rankings.  Rankings of med schools, admission requirements and tuition.  Did you know it costs more to go to Creighton than Harvard!?  Insane, and I think you'd be insane to pay that much for an education that's pretty far down in the rankings.  Also, Baylor tuition is less than UNMC and UT Southwestern's tuition is almost half the price (out-of-state at UTS is only $1000 more than instate at UNMC).  Both of which are ranked higher.  UT Southwestern is my dream school.  Ranked number 20 in the nation and number 1 for TX schools, and to me, mildly attainable.  Mind you their incoming class from this year had more than 3 students (each) from schools like Rice, Columbia, Stanford, Duke, and Yale.  But, they also have students from UTA of all places (hello bad education!) so I figure there's gotta be hope for me.  My second choice would have to be Baylor, ranked just below UTS, and then probably UNT, while lower in rankings it's VERY attainable and it offers a D.O. program which I may be leaning towards.  Can I please start med school in January?
Also, my seester got a job! Now I suppose I'll have to get it together and make a trip to the post office.

South and Central America are calling my name!  They want me there!
They want me to help, and to fall in love, and show God's love.
They want to break my heart.
They want me!

Pray that God's will be done in my life and I find a way to serve him this summer.

I am so thankful for the man Kyle is and what he does on a daily basis.   Volunteer firefighters ARE real firefighters, and they don't just fight fires.  They get emergency medical calls, calls for car wrecks, floods, and just about everything imaginable.  The only difference is that they put their life on the line for FREE.  Warning, I 'm about to describe some of the things Kyle has experienced as a firefighter and they might upset you.  Hearing them sometimes upsets me, but I listen because sometimes Kyle needs to vent and I'm sharing it with you so that you can appreciate what a service to our communities these men are.  Sometimes Kyle just needs to talk about the horrible things he's had to deal with that day.  He's dealt with walking in on a 4 day old suicide with Johnny Cash playing on repeat in the background.  Tried relentlessly to save a man in cardiac arrest, doing CPR with his fellow firemen for over 30 minutes while his 3 daughters were screaming in the background.  He's come to a 75 year old woman unconscious on the kitchen floor because her husband purposefully knocked her down and left her there.   He's been woken up at 2am to a flooded fire station only to be called out to an electrical fire at 3am only to head off to do PT (physical training) at fire school at 6am and do search and rescue drills all day.  He's seen more dead bodies than he can count.  Seen drug addicts.  Rescued puppies from a fire (and I told him if he ever ran into a burning building and risked his life again for a stupid dog, I'd personally kick his ass).  Casey has driven up on a fire so devastating that all they found was a mother and her toddler burned and melted together.  I appreciate Kyle more than I can even say.  I love that we share the same passion for helping, SAVING, people.  I love that every single day he's doing what he loves, and making a difference.  He hasn't been home in over 2 weeks.  He literally lives at the fire station.  He sleeps on a cot, lives out of a duffel bag, goes on calls every hour of the day or night, and he still loves it.  It's hard, but it's worth it.

One of my favorite pictures.

Kyle, Hawkins, and Shawn at late night fire January 2010

Casey

Rookie of the Year and Saved a Life award.
I love my boys, and they make me so proud!

Thanks to Monica Williams a fellow fire fighter's girlfriend who is a photographer and takes photos of the boys on calls, and in action when she can and to all the other station photographers!  

Abbreviations and sayings that drive me INSANE!!

Adorbs.
Obvi.
Totes.
sorry 'bout it.
Def.
and the worst one of allll time.
NOM NOM NOM.
Nom is not a cute word for eating.  It's annoying and gross.  The next time someone talks to me in "abrevs" I'm going to abbreviate every other world I say and see if they can understand me and if they get as annoyed as I do.

Avoiding Sharing

I've been posting lots of picture posts recently, and I think it's because I don't want to write.  I have lots of things to say, I'm just not sure I'm wanting to share.  Probably a result of too many too personal posts...  Here is my favorite part of my room.

It's the top half of my self... I love it.  I need to fill in a few picture frames, but I'm terrible at getting photos off my camera and onto my computer, and worse at getting them printed.  I love my favorite books, my journals, and my latest top shelf edition, my "Santa Biblia", aka my Spanish Bible!  I love the pictures of me and my sisters and high school best friends.  Roommates to be added soon (ish).  I love my handmade turquoise necklace that K bought me for my birthday this past May.  I love my growing collection of seashell items from Kyle's family vacations.  I love my Chance by Channel perfume.  I love my best friends coin purse Alicia bought me once upon a time.  I love the painting Kyle did in 7th grade (most people don't know he's an amazing, but modest artist!).  I love the ring holder my grandmother gave me.  I am such a home body and I just love where I live.  I like to sit on the couch and do homework, or read and chat with Aimes.  I like to cuddle on the couch and watch sex and the city, or skype with a friend laying on my bed.  I love to clean, and organize, but not making my bed.  Which reminds me...  I don't remember if I told ya'll this or not, but I no longer sleep on my bed.  It's bunked and I hate climbing in and out, and I hate making my bed, and I hate having an unmade bed!  So I've been sleeping on my futon ALL year.  Well I haven't been making that either... so the last 2 nights I've tried to sleep on my futon when it's in couch form so when I wake up it's already made.  It has not worked out.  At 6 am this morning I had to switch it, and lay it out into a double bed even though I was waking up in an hour simply because I couldn't handle it anymore!  OK. Enough pointless jabber.  I'm going to go to bed after I watch a sermon from the Radical series given by Pastor David Platt who preaches at Brook Hill Church in Birmingham Alabama.  the series is AMAZING. And I encourage every single Christian to watch the 8 week series.  I'm only one week in and I can't get enough of it.  It forces you to reevaluate what it means to be a follower of Christ and your priorities.  It's funny how God works.  I was just thinking about Luke 14:26 the week prior to watching my first sermon, and what do you know, it's one of the first verses mentioned!  Watch it.  You won't be disappointed.  Goodnight.

-look at that, I set out to avoid sharing, and I ended up sharing.

Friday Foodday

My and my roomie's creation!  *NOTE* we are not, and do not pretend to be any sort of cooking connoisseurs! We just felt like using our left over wine to cook something easy and delicious.

chicken + mushrooms + garlic + onion + evoo

+ white wine

+ cream

cooking all together

broccoli with evoo and garlic

+ bread + evoo and more garlic

Final Product.  

YES we are drinking milk (and soy milk) out of a mason jar and a wine glass!  We had wine, but no wine bottle opener (our first bottle had a cap, not a cork, classy I know)... so we had to drink milk, and didn't want to use our plastic cups.  But after our dilemma I went out and bought a wine opener.

Ho Hum

My two tests are done!  Quantitative Chemical Analysis and Biochem 432 (gene expression and replication) tests are done!!  Not sure how I did on my chem test seeing as how I didn't study... but at least I don't think I bombed it.  Take a peek at me and my roommate.

I'm sorry for the mirror pic, but it was necessary to get our outfits.  My roommate goes into work at 8 am every morning and I work out at 7am, come back at 8:15 then go to micro at 10:30 am (point being we don't see each other till we get to class).  We sit together.  I walk into micro and sit down and realize we are wearing almost the exact same outfit.  Light blue "boyfriend fit" tees and black skinny jeans.  We are so alike.  And we had to walk around campus (to micro lab, to dinner, to the fiesta on the green) matching and looking like big dorks.  To top it off we said the same thing, at the same time like 3 times yesterday.  I felt like the Olsen twins in one of their cheesy movies.  Our brain waves have finally reached the same frequency and it's weird how alike we are.

Aren't you happy I'm [FINALLY] updating with pictures and not jibber jabber? More picture posts to come!

wordless wednesday

7/4/2010

I don't even know how to feel right now.
What if my plans aren't the same as God's plans for my life?
I'm tired of God trying to teach me patience.  I just want to know now.
Where do I go from here?
I cannot move forward with my life without an answer, because what if I'm going the wrong way?  How would I know?
What do You want from me God?
What one earth am I supposed to do?
Answer me soon please.  Just this once.

What you are about to read is most likely nonsensical jargon.  It's just a string of thoughts as they come to mind as I mull over something I've been dealing with lately, so bear with me please.
It is soooo incredibly hard for me not to be crabby, not to judge, not to be seriously annoyed with people/things/situations.  I'm trying.  I'm working on it.  I'm kind of failing miserably...  I'm not sure where all of these mean thoughts come from.  The ones like "what in the heck is she wearing?" "what an idiot!" and "I hate everything about today!"  There is absolutely no point to these thoughts.  No reason to have them. My life is wonderfully full and I tend to focus on the negative.  I don't feel like I'm an "oh poor me person" but I do like to complain.  I complain about everything.  Maybe it's because I'm an incredibly vocal person and just about every thought I have comes spilling out of my mouth before I've even processed what my brain is apparently shoving out of my mouth.  Whatever the reason, it needs to stop.  I need to figure out WHY the way other people live their lives irks me the way it does.  Probably because I look for faults in people.  But hello, who am I to judge!?  I AM getting better at stopping the thoughts like "what is she wearing" but I am NOT getting better at the "I hate everything about today" and "she bugs the crap outta me" thoughts.  It's hard for me to control my emotions, especially when I'm annoyed, or angry.  I kind of let them run wild.  When I feel like crying, I cry (I basically never try to suck it up and shut up).  When I feel like yelling, I yell (something that Kyle absolutely hates, but I can seem to figure out how to control...).  When I feel like being a crab, I'm a crab.  Is that normal?  I'm thinking it has to be much healthier to think through my emotions, find out what is causing them, and then work through them and deal with them before I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and bursting into tears.  I sound like a crazy person.  I guess I'm just very passionate.  And yes my use of the word passionate is an attempt to put a positive spin on my [actual] craziness.  Anyway, I'm working on not letting my emotions get the best of me.  Not letting stupid things irritate me beyond belief.  And the number one thing I've been working on for years now....... filtering my thoughts BEFORE they come spilling out of my mouth.  OK, time to end this way too personal blog post.

OH PS! Maybe this is the reason why I am in love with the Jimmy Dean bfast commercial where the sun comes into a science class and yells "Evil Crabby!" and then throws a breakfast corn dog at a crabby kid and the giant crab disappears.  It makes me laugh every time.  If only I could get a corn dog thrown at me when I'm crabby and poof be magically all better.

wordless wednesday

there is someplace like home

It's been a pretty eventful weekend.  When I get sad I spend money in an attempt to make myself feel better, a method that's only slightly effective.  Well this weekend I spent a lot of money...    But yesterday afternoon through the evening was the highlight of my weekend.  I realize it's Labor Day so my weekend is still here however with the CRAP TON of homework I have to do, I'd say it's not going to feel like the weekend. Anyway.
My best friend left for Spain yesterday and arrived three hours ago! And while she was boarding, and un-boarding planes I was enjoying time with her grandparents. I must admit, I was a little nervous at first because I've never been over the their house without K.  Well I was nervous for nothing because they are the most heart warming people you will ever meet!  I sat at the kitchen table looking at family photos (they had a new baby girl addition to the family!) and chatting with Grandma D for a long while and it was wonderful.  I did homework without distractions, at a delicious home cooked meal of ribs, corn on the cob, tomatoes, beans, and homemade peach pie with ice cream, and then played mexican trains until 9pm.  I really felt like a part of the family.  We got several calls from K's parents and uncle and they just put it on speaker phone and let me listen to the babies and talk to K's parents. I have never felt more at home in a place that wasn't my home.  They finally sent me on my way around 10 pm with tomatoes from the garden and corn on the cob in tow. And THAT was the cure to my sad and lonely weekend.

I HATED EVERYTHING ABOUT TODAY!

I'm sorry, but I am allowed to be cranky every now and again.

I hate being fat.
I love Maroon5.
I miss my best friends that aren't in Lincoln.

so long texas

I've been over the whole blogging thing lately.  Why would I blog when I'm busy doing and enjoying and living?  Which as you've probably guessed means that I've been consumed with Kyle and family so I don't ever want to take precious time away from us to log on and blab.  Basically in the last two weeks, I've finished up my SPAN 303 class.  Let me just say that the Spanish program at UTA is a COMPLETE JOKE!!!  I feel totally unprepared for the SPAN 321 (Spanish Civ) class I'm taking this semester and I breezed through my summer Spanish classes (at least it will boost my GPA...)  OK back to my last 2 weeks-ish.  I've finished up my last week at the wonderful place known as CCH!  Ummm packed for Nebraska in literally 1 night, drove to NE, moved in and set everything up in 2 days (!!), drove to CO and enjoyed time with family.  It ended with me taking Kyle to the airport (thanks Nate) at 4am in the mornin' and then getting sick and having to skip my cousins wedding.  Yea, I got another UTI!  Which was not fun to deal with on my 7 hr drive back to Lincoln alone..  I have a love/hate relationship with Nebraska.  I hate the state as a whole.  I find most of the people to be very vanilla, the state to be boring, people to be very closed minded and ummm not the most accepting of cultures/people that are different than what their used to.  But I love living on my own, I love my roommates and friends, I love husker football, and even school.  So I'm not sure how I feel about being back.  Mostly the same I guess.  Another year down.  OK this post is getting weird.  It has no direction and that's bad because I can ramble for another 500 words...  I'm going to end by picking up where I left off.  Pictures of where I want to get married!

In this view you can see where I worked all summer

I like it.

I'll probably change my mind a thousand more times before I get married, but for my now this is the place for me :)

A more coherent post will be up soon..  probably with pictures!

Wow.  Eventful morning.  I was planning on signing on here this morning to complain and vent about a just barely missing having a major car accident (be the grace of God) on an exit ramp off of I30 this morning.  I was upset and called Kyle crying and telling him how much I hate being on the road for nearly 2 hrs every day because careless, reckless people have nearly killed me about 5 times in the last 3 days.  That's a little unnerving.  At the end of our conversation he says "Well I hope your day gets better, and I'll pray for you."
Well it did. 
Not even 5 minutes later I was in my boss' office and she was complimenting me on my performance this summer.  I mean she said some of the nicest and most encouraging things I've ever heard, especially from a non-family member.  I am still completely floored.  She told me that the work I've produced this summer is easily graduate-level or better and that if I chose to go to medical school at UNTHSC she will do everything in her power to give me a job so I can work throughout all 4 years of school.  She also offered me a job for next summer saying no matter what she will always find money to fund me (we're non-profit and work out of grants).  What a blessing this job has been!  I am so thankful for my wonderful boss and that God has placed me in the most amazing work enviornment I could ever ask for.  I am surrounded by wonderful Chrisitan women who are truly exceptional at what they do.  How many people (that work in a non-christian field/faith based organization) can say that everyone they work with is in love with God and live their lives for him on a daily basis?  I can!  Praise be to Him because He hit me with the best ton of bricks this morning and said "hey there little miss, I know what I'm doing, I'm still working in your life, chill out about the stupid stuff because I have it all under control. Didn't you know it was me guiding your vehicle out of that wreck? Didn't you know I would take care of your school and career because you are going to do great works for me?  Come on now Lauren, don't forget about me."

Preview

I want to get married here

Photo taken by me before work, more to come as promised.

I wonder if people actually think I'm dumb enough to believe some of the lies they feed me.

Photos to come!  For REAL this time.  Probably not till later this evening but I will be posting some.  I took some pictures for Kyle this morning that I'll share with ya'll.  Also, I'm starting a craft project for a friend tonight so we'll see how that goes :)

Current addiction = http://www.fashism.com/
I might spend waaay too much time at work on here...
also, I've been pretty terrible at updating latley.
I either say I'll update something (like pictures) and dont,
or I write nonsensical jargon....
When my brain starts working again, I'll update.

WTH?

I'm sorry, but I ran accross this and it is just too weird and gross not to post.

A teddy bear made from your own placenta!?!?

OLD PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK MAKE MY LIFE DIFFICULT!!
M.Z. should have left it requiring an edu email.

Mind Dump

Ok.  A ton of stuff has happened since my last post, I'll pick the two most recent things I suppose. First thing, Friday morning I woke up with a bladder infection.  YUCK! However, it was actually a praise because for some reason I'm extremely prone to UTI's and my body tends not to show symptoms until I'm on the verge of a kidney infection (my pee has basically turned into blood, tmi? oh well) but this time I caught it BEFORE I was in the worst pain of my life. I promptly made a doctor's appointment scheduled within the hour and am fortunate enough that my doctor's office is located right outside my neighborhood so it took me all of 3 minutes to drive there.  Also,  I met a new doctor (I had to see a different one if I wanted to get in before work) and she was a D.O. and she talked to me for about 20 min after her evaluation to discuss medical school, differences between an M.D. and a D.O., and how the new health care bill will affect physicians. So my UTI turned into a PRAISE.

All's well that ends well.  FALSE.
Got lost in a death trap known as Possum Kingdom Lake for 6 hrs on Saturday!  A lake that's only 90 miles away.  It was Texas Chainsaw Massacre material.  Twisty winding roads, GPS freaking out, running out of gas, creepy gates with cameras...  Finally arrived at the lake (in a pissy mood) and made the best of it for my little brother's birthday.  He's 20 now!

Next planned trip (not to a lake, 2 weekends in a row is enough for me!)  FTW stockyards!!  I'm thinking about getting some custom made boots, if I can afford it.  And if not, I can still window shop and eat some yummy BBQ with Kyle.  To do by the end of the summer list (made by Kyle) will be posted soon.
I want these!

Iced Skinny Vanilla Latte

Holy Smokes. It's the only thing getting me through this day.
Long day.  So incredibly tired and exhausted and busy.  I've got to have a mental break from work.  I've been filling in numbers and putting in formulas in excel sheets all day long.  I'm updating the Dallas Family Access Network 2009 Needs Assessment (making a 2010 version).  So I've been taking numbers like "newly diagnosed with HIV in _____ county" and turning them into percentages, incidence rates per 100,000 and such.  Blech, boring!  Intersting to read, not interesting to create.  Another update from work, we're maning an HPV&Vaccine education booth at a back to school health fair.  Problem is, it's during my final exam that I just got special permission from my teacher to take early.  Now I have to see if she'll let me reschedule again and take it even earlier.  I've been anxiously awaiting her reply all day.  No luck.

Weekend Plans!
1. Sushi in downtown Dallas with my sister and brother-in-law on Friday night!
2. Inception, possibly at the Movie Tavern in FTW followed by Sweet Sammies. (yum yum homade icecream sandwiches with none other than Bluebell icecream)
3. Possom Kingdom Lake to jump off even higher cliffs- we jumped off 30ft cliffs at Lake Whitney last Saturday for Kyle's bday.
4. Homework, writing my Spanish presentation on Terrorism or Marraige (whhhat?)
5. Sleep, sleep, sleep, and church.

Aime's, I love you!

blah blah yadda yadda yadda

Sooo tired right now.  I feel guilty for not updating now that I can see every visitor that comes to my page.  It's way more accurate than the "profile views" thing that blogger has.  I love that I can know where people are from that visit my blog.  It's so interesting and fun to see all the different cities.  I always try and guess who they are, but I never can...  because other than my 8 followers I have no clue who reads this blog.  But I know I do have some unofficial subscribers that visit regularly!  (or multiple visitors from the same city, which is also very possible).  So far I think I've had 6 Texas cities visit me, 2 from California, some for the plain ol' USA and a couple from Lincoln and Omaha.  I love it when the mystery cities return too.
Ok, now for my real, non-internet life.
Kyle and I went on a double date with a couple friend of ours and that was a ton of fun.  We hang out with them a lot, but this was the first time it was an official double date.  We ate way to much Tons and played with their adorable mutt puppy Owen who likes to try and bite Kyle's neck.  I think it's great to have a young married couple that Kyle and I can befriend (chill Amanada, we need more than 1 couple friend) and get advice and share fun times with.
Had a meeting over the HPV grant today.  Our HPV grant was awarded to fund CCH's HPV education outreach and inreach program.  Informing the public about HPV and the vaccine and doing inreach within clinics, hospitals, etc.  I wish I wasn't leaving Tejas in 3.5 weeks because I am totally stoked about our grant project and am just ready to dive right in!  I'm working on getting up to date brochures at the moment for the Hispanic Wellness Fair in August but health and scientific research changes so fast that even the CDC (center for disease control) can't keep up!  We're doing a facebook campaign as well and I'm totally bummed I won't be there for the set up of that.  But as soon as it's up and running expect me to "Like" it.  Another meeting tomorrow to divvy out responsibilities and I'm excited to see where I'm needed :)
Also, because I have been researching and working with HPV and the HPV vaccine for the last 2 summers I must tell you, if you are between the ages of 9 &26 and have not yet been vaccinated or you have not yet completed the entire HPV series... DO IT!!  Well worth it, and it is recomended by the CDC.  I'll provide resources for those interested because as much as I think you should get vaccinated, you need to make an informed decision about what's right for you.

as bright as the dallas sky

Kyle's song to me.  He said when he heard the lyrics "Her mood changes like the weather in Lubbock" he thought the song had to have been written about me. Sweet I know... that's our relationship I guess!  hahaha 

Quick Eight

Slow at work today so I have a tinsy bit of time to update.  Quick notes.

1. There is a women who works in my building that seriously looks like a blond version of Mary Katherine Gallegar from the movie Superstar.

2. Loving cherries right now.  I cannot get over all of their health benifits!  They have 10 times more antioxidants than blueberries, more beta carotene than carrots, stabalize blood sugar (great for diabetics- in moderation of course) and contain melatonin!  Melatonin helps regulate sleep patterns (it's what responds to light and says time to wake up) and fights aging.  Tart cherries (as opposed to the sweet ones you buy fresh from the grocery store) are the ones with the most benifits, also they are delicious!

3.Date night tonight with Kyle.  I called him on my way to work from school and he said, "You know what!? I got paid, I got money in the bank, and we haven't had alone time in somewhere around 2 weeks, so I'm taking you out!"  I love him.  Going to one of our favorite local restaurants in Mansfield, La Gondola, for some home cooked Italian. JOY!

4. I like spending the night with my sister because she has the most comfortable queen bed imaginable, wonderfully soft sheets, and cable with Bravo!

5. BostonMed tonight!  Favorite summer documentary :)  I think it's on abc (maybe nbc I can never keep track) but it's an updated version of their John Hopkin's documentary they did in the summer of 2007.  I'm choosing BostonMed over Bethany's Getting Married? tonight (and totally worth it I must say).

6. Kyle's older brother is married!!  Now I just pray he comes back home to America safetly and soon.

7. My best friend is engaged!  Fall wedding October 30, 2010 in Washington D.C.!  Goodbye new boots, hello plane ticket to New England :)

8. Check out this blog.  Interesting for coffee drinkers.

I hate people with BAD attitudes.  They're completely unpleasant and it's very difficult to not let them ruin my day.  I've learned that I really just have to remove myself from the situation/their presence because otherwise I'll say something completely rude (and truthful) that I'll regret.
SPAN 3314 (advanced grammar) final and paper due tomorrow.  blech.
Also, I love my job.  Currently writing an abstract for an infant mortality conference focusing on teens and we're working with The Girl Scouts of Texas Oklahoma Plains.  The women who are working with us are awesome and really care about lowing an infant mortality rate that is outrageously high in comparison to the rest of the country (also the USA has the highest IMR of any industrialized country).  And, I'm working on some breast cancer curriculum for the women in our 8 week breast cancer study.  South Dallas (Oak Cliff) next week for recruitment :)  LOVE IT.

The Rangers snagged Cliff Lee!!  I love my team :)

Kyle got us some awesome seats to watch the Rangers stomp the White Sox last Saturday night.

crunching the numbers

I've been looking online for a child to sponder either through food for the hungry or world vision (or both!). How do you just pick one!? I've been looking at three kids I desperately want to sponser and it seems like the more I look, the more I want... I've been working through my budget trying to see if there's any way I can sponser more than just one kid, but right now it looks like I'll only be able to sponser one. I could possibly bring on another child in the fall when I'm back working in the chem lab in Lincoln but usually during school I only make around $50 a week (I only have time to put in a few hrs) and that's not a lot when I'll be paying for groceries, shampoo, toothpaste, toliet paper ect. Grrr. I guess for now I'll just keep setting aside more and more money and hopefully I can make it work. Keep me in your prayers as I continue to work on my relationship with Christ, I'd really appreciate it!!

vengo adorarte

Oh luz del mundo, bajaste a la oscuridad,
Mis ojos abriste, pude ver.

Belleza que causa que mi ser te adore,
esperanza de vida en ti.

Vengo a adorarte, vengo a postrarme
Vengo a decirte eres mi Dios.
Eres simplemente bello, simplemente digno
Tan maravilloso para mí.

Oh rey eterno, tan alto y exaltado,
glorioso en el cielo eres tu.

Al mundo que hiciste, humilde viniste,
pobre te hiciste por amor.

Nunca sabré cuanto costo,
Ver mi pecado en la cruz.

Nunca sabré cuanto costo,
Ver mi pecado en la cruz.

July 6, 2010

I love my new "widget" (or whatever it's called) that lets me see where people are from that visit my blog.  It's so fun!  I haven't updated in awhile but I promise updates are coming soon!
Also, I'm sure you know that I am quite terrible at uploading pictures and that I said I'd upload wedding pics a long time ago.  Well.  Amanda now has access to the photographer's pics and will be posting them shortly so I just don't see the point in posting mine...  Well here's a few for the road.

I lied, I can't get the pictures to upload... Sorry!  But I will try and update some tomorrow while I'm at work, well it really depends on what all needs to be done..  Goodnight!

June 30, 2010

My internet at work is being sooooo slow.  It literally is taking 5-10 minutes to load a page.  All I can get to is my email... so while my hpv epi review search is pending I'm typing this.  Pictures to come tonight (for real), ok maybe not.  But someone on facebook took awesome pictures, so I stole them to put up on here.  I just have to get around to uploading them...  Last night while I was supposed to be studying for my Spanish test I had today I was learning self defense moves from Kyle.  I have got to say it was fun and informative (cheesey I know).  But it was really cool to learn how to get out of a head-lock or know what to do when someone is choking me or attacks me from behind or is on top of me trying to rape me. That's the informative part, the fun part was just being goofy with Kyle.  It was also kind of weird to think about actually being in that situation and it completely freaked me out!  I'm not paranoid or always thinking "what if something terrible happens to me" but these things do happen!  Not really in little old Mansfield, Texas but south Dallas where we do our studies, or the janky part of Arlington or Lincoln...  Anyway, I doubt I'll ever need to use my new self-defense skills (I pray that I don't) but if I ever do, I'll have em.

 

Oh and today's PAYDAY :)

June 27, 2010

I just saw Dane Cook on LMN (lifetime movie netowrk).

My life is complete!  jajaja

Had a good day with the honey today.  Church, double date, shopping, spending lots of money on my favorite Kendrick boys, nap time, dinner, movie.  WONDERFUL DAY!  I love being home in the summatime :)

gimme gimme these

I seriously want these.  Why do they have to be sooooo dang expensive?  Time to go shopping!  I want to go to Sergents and see what they have on their clearance table.  They're the boots with "defects" but most of the time you can't even find them. All the boots they carry are hand made and of the utmost quality so even a simple mistake in stitching can cause them to be marked down to over %50 off!  Sarah bought some from there with an extra few stitches in the wrong direction and she got them for like $75!!  Hmmm... I need to be more practical.  Back to looking for boots I can actually semi-afford.

Amanda is married!  Pictures to come.  I only have a few, and they're all getting ready pictures, but they'll be posted sometime this week hopefully.  I have a test in Spanish tomorrow so no promises of getting them done tonight.  I had so much fun this weekend :)  I am just plain happy.

Busy&Sad&Excited&Happy

 

Wedding plans are all finalizing.  Family is coming in town, flowers are being delivered, favors being wrapped.  And I'm not there.  I am sad that I'm not as busy with wedding plans as I am with work.  I have a short break right now but as soon as I'm off "lunch" I'll have to get back to work.  I'ts 3:42pm right now.  My lunch got interupted with more conference plans.  I love work, I just love my sister more.  I wish I was at home helping with wedding stuff and spending time with my family.  But then again if it wasn't for my job I couldn't afford any of this wedding stuff (my entire first paycheck went to wedding stuff!).  Gifts, gifts, gifts, haircuts, shoes, showers, parties, jewlery ect.  I need to work on my MOH toast as well.  I'm putting it off because I'm sad my sister's getting married.  It's weird to think about.  She's getting MARRIED!!  No more living at home, no more living in Nebraska.  I don't really know how to describe how I feel other than weird, nervous and excited.

 

One more tidbit.  Kyle and I have been "off" lately.  Not fighting too much or anything like that just kind of cranky and not our normal selves with each other.  Well, it's fixed!!  I love my honey so much and I am so thankful I have him and not some other boy.  I think about friends boyfriends and husbands and say to myself, I'm SO glad Kyle is not like them!  I'm sure they think "I"m so glad __ is not like Kyle!" but that's alright because their boys fit them and mine fits me :)  Anyway, I'm just glad we're out of our funk and I feel like we're doing better than ever.  The end, time to finish this powerpoint for work and I only have an hour to do it!

I don't want to study for Spanish.
I think I get lazy because I'm pretty good at it just from all the classes I've taken and maybe some natural talent.  HOWEVER, Amanda's way better at it than me and maybe if I tried harder to memorize vocabulary and grammar rules I'd be better at it.  Test over chapters 1&2 in the am.  Two chapters in 4 days?  I hate summer school.  Summers are for tanning and sleeping and working out and being with Kyle.  Yes.  Being with Kyle.  For the past 3 years that has been my summer and I feel like I'm losing our best time together because of school and work and wedding and church and firefighting nonsense that I hate.  OK, I shouldn't say nonsense.  I just get so selfish because I want him to spend every waking second possible with ME and not at the station.  He's either working, at the station, or doing firefighter homework.  It's really hard to not get mad.  But secretly I am mad.  It's not his fault, I'm just as busy.  I'm just mad and sad that this summer can't be like the last three.  We can't lay in the grass and drink sweet tea, or go to the lake on a whim.  We can't drive around looking for a quiet place in Mansfield with the windows down, my feet sticking out the window and my head on his shoulder.  i want my old childish summers back.  Not the grown up work and school and school and work summers.  I want to play silly games like ragdoll, nose tag and sweet things.  I don't want to plop down on the couch and do homework and then go our separate ways for the night when it's only 9 o'clock.  I hate having to schedule and reschedule and reschedule dates.  I want to relax and enjoy my summer with my honeydew.

(look at that blond hair he used to have!)

Eh

So I guess I'm updating again.  Not much to say I'm just bored at work!  I've been online shopping for probably a good 2 hrs today.  I don't know how anyone could ever have an office job.  My dad does and lots of my friends do but to me it's just so boring!  I need to be up and around doing stuff.  Also, I go from being really busy to having nothing to do at all, which I hate.  I love my boss and co-workers but I need to be doing something more hands on.  I've been looking at cowboy boots for about 30 minutes now and I think I've found the ones I want.  I'm opting to buy men's boots this time around because they have so many more styles, skins, and options.  And Sarah has a pair of men's boots that are so unique and they fit perfectly so  why not go for mens!?  I'm saving up (slowly but surley) so I can buy myself some at the end of the summer.  I want some lizzard or caiman skin boots this time.  Caimans are cousins to the gators and crocs so they have a similar texture and look to them but are WAY less expensive.  I'd love to have some croc boots but I don't have $2000 to shell out for that.  Here are the ones I want

 

 

Sorry the pic is huge, I'm updating from my email again so I don't know how to format it.  I wish I could afford some boots with more of the caiman skin on it (like the whole bottom half, not just the tip) but that'll cost me an extra $100 so I'm pretty sure that's not gunna happen.  ALso, I'm gunna get a black pair :)

 

Oh, while I'm here and updating.  I'm nervous about Amanda's bach. party.  I have party planning anxiety because I'm completely terrified that it will be lame and everyone will blame me and never want to come to one of my partys again (not that I even throw them due to said anxiety but you know what I mean).  So my plan is to stock up on tequila and let the guests decide for themselves how much fun they want to have.  And I hope Amanda gets some awesome gifts.  One last note:  I have to drive all the way to Ft Worth to buy liquor because Mansfield and Arlington only sell beer and wine.  Liquor cannot be sold inside city limits, welcome to the south.  Also, liqour isn't sold on Sundays so I guess I'll have to stop by sometime during the week of hell (wedding & conferenec week).

McNair and UTA

I am getting worse at updating.  I got a letter in the mail today about the McNair program at UNL.  I didn't get in.  I'm kind of glad, kind of don't care.  I prayed about it before submitting my application and I almost didn't even turn it in because I thought the program just wasn't right for me.  So, God has other plans for me, and so do I.  Let's hope they're the same ones!  haha.  So far I think they are.  I'm kind of excited to get the rejection letter because with rejection comes a free summer to travel abroad!  Or work in a derm. office, or work at CCH again!  Anyway, I feel lame because now when someone asks me about it I'll have to tell them that McNair didn't want me :(  Oh well, I still know that I was completely over qualified for the program and I will have other plans.

UTA:  Well...  It's not that bad.  Communication is terrible and I can't figure out how to get a student ID so I can work out at their fitness center, but whatever.  My Spanish professor is nice, oh and the class is completely easy.  Lots of work, but easy.  I'm supposed to be taking the equivalent of SPAN 304 (advanced Spanish grammar) at UNL however UTA uses the book for the equivalent of SPAN 204 (intermediate Spanish grammar and writing) so I'm essentially re-taking a class I've already taken but getting higher credit for it.  Not sure how I feel about that because it makes me nervous to return to the more difficult SPAN program at UNL :/  Plus if I'm paying $952 for this class I should be getting the class I want!

Does all my school talk bore you?

Well I don't have any exciting life updates...  Kyle and I had our three year anniversary last Friday (June 4) and we celebrated it at Traildust in Arlington.  Live music and dancing and lots of steak!  Kyle bought me a strapless sundress (complete wtih matching jewelry) as a gift so I wore it that night.  I love that he took the time to go shop for an entire outfit for me (he hates shopping) and I love that he was able to pick me out something completely my style and perfect (in the correct size compliments of Sarah.  As soon as I get used to using my new camera software on my computer I'll post pictures, but don't hold your breath...

Amanda moved into  her apartment!  Well, actually Nate moved in and she's helping him while slowly moving stuff of her own in.  Nate did an AMAZING job on making her dressers (for those of you who don't know he's excellent with a hammer and nails and hand crafted two dressers for their new place!).  Oh and I got new wedding shoes!  I'm returning the old ones I bought because I originally wanted the ones I just bought but didn't want to spend $70 for them (make sense?).  I found them at Marshall's for $40.  Alright, the end.  Back to work.

Finally!

I'm finally updating my blog! I'm at work so Amanda showed me a way to update from my email account last night so I'm not sure how the formating will be but oh well. I haven't been blogging because I've been crazy crazy busy working, and working out, and getting everything set up for school, and getting everthing together for the wedding. If you read Amanda's blog I'm sure you know her wedding shower was a success, but what you didn't know was how much work it was! Getting tons of flowers and potted plants, and repotting plants for favors, and getting games together and making only about a million trips to Michael's, Aldi, Target, ect for food and crafty supplies. Oh and let's not leave out the 3 hrs it took to make those adorable cupcakes (pictures later) and about 5 trips to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy gifts, and to do gift shopping for Amanda at the request of several female relatives who are either too old to understand what a registry is, were out of state, or just wanted the convience of having a personal shopper who could pick something out for A. So after all that work I was glad that the shower was such a success! We had about 20 guests show up, plenty of food, and tons of fun! Alright now on to planning the bach. party. I know I should have done this long ago with invitations addressed, stamped, and in the mail weeks ago so invited out of towners could arrange travel plans to come earlier (if possible) and attend. BUT I was busy OK!? And Amanda, or I had already told all but 1 person to be invited of when it was sooo they're already planning, or not planning to come they just need a formal invitation. Which I have yet to make! I'm debating about whether or not I should design some and print them out on cardstock myself, or buy some from Target and write in the info instead. I'd love to make some, but do I really have the time? I sound like such a complainer for my busy life. Not so. I love being busy, absolutely love it! I never waste time and I'm always getting stuff done. The only probelm is, I'm always busy haha. How is it that this is MY blog and I've spent so much of it talking about a wedding that isn't mine? The truth is Amanda has been sort of consuming my life (ok not consuming but I do way more for her now then I did in school). Dress fittings, picking out interview clothes, ect. So how about you get an update on ME?
I'm now 21! Kyle did good on my birthday. He bought me a brand new Samsung Camera! Not sure how to post links via my email but I'll do a picture post sometime this weekend... maybe. He also took me to the Dallas World Aquarium which was awesome :) Hmm anything else exciting? We went to a minor leage baseball game, the Grand Praire Airhogs, last weekend. It was so much fun. We went with our longtime friend's family and were in a sweet which was nice because we were in airconditiong. I started work at CCH (Center for Community Health) and it's back to routine as usual. We're putting on a huge conference on Improving Health through Community-Academic Research which will be really interesting but it's the day before the wedding so I can't take off. Boo. I'll be able to leave by 2pm though. Alright, back to work, my boss just came in and needs me to research and write 4 informative papers for this conference!

HOLEY SMOKES!!
time to get it in gear.

Hello again.

Lot's to say, not much time.  But I'm always busy in the summer.  Well I'm always busy no matter what time of year but in the summer I like my busy so I rarely procrastinate and blog.  Anyway, thanks to those of you who reached out to me via facebook, email, text, and in person to share your thoughts on my tithing since my comment thing wasn't working.  I really do appreciate your input and it was awesome to hear what so many of you are passionate about.  I've decided to go with a one time donation to a missionary cause that I'm really excited about (OK actually I'm splitting my tithes between two causes but I love them both).  But seeing as how very soon I'll be making quite a bit of money on my internship this summer (I start May 24th yay!!) with the Center for Community Health in FTW, I'll continue praying and listening to where God calls me to give next.
Quick Updates.
I turn 21 on Tuesday!!
Breakfast tomorrow with an old friend!
An even older friend flies in from DC tomorrow to spend the weekend with me :)
Kyle has live burns tomorrow (they set a fire-proof house on fire with hay and gasoline and then save "victims" and  run a million drills like that) my honey is so brave!
Umm workout routine has commenced.  I almost died when I had to try on a pair of size 6 jeans at Gap on Wednesday.  A size 6 may be OK for some, but not for me on my little 5'3" frame! (hello my boyfriend is totally hot, I have to keep up..)
I really want to know what Kyle has up his sleeve for my birthday... I'm thinking a symphony at the botanical gardens in FTW or possibly a museum... but really I have no clue what he has planned.  Apparently it's an all day affair with midday margaritas and ends with dinner at our favorite local restaurant La Gorgondala in Mansfield.
Umm, anything else...?  not really.  That's it for now I guess.

I'm totally stoked to see Alicia tomorrow.  Haven't seen her in over 2 years, she went through A LOT  her first year of college (family issues ect) and I will just be glad to relive old memories and make new ones while she's here.  We've known each other for 10 years now and used to live at each others houses over the summer.  She's one of those friends that you can go months or even years without talking and you pick up the phone and you're right where you left off.  I cannot even explain how excited I am.  Now I need to pick up my pit of a room so she won't yell at me for all the crap I have when she gets here tomorrow.

Working on it.

Not sure why, but my blog won't let you, or me, or apparently anybody comment on it.  Trying to work it out but I'm pretty incompetent when it comes to anything on the computer so we'll see.  I've taken every restriction off and it still won't work.  I tried to change my layout a few weeks ago (obviously by the looks of my blog I couldn't figure that out either) so I'll try changing it again to some pre-made choice that blogspot has and maybe that will do the trick.  Until then contact me via facebook or email
laurenlee504@yahoo.com

Also, welcome to the non-follwers that follow my blog, it's good to hear from you!  And hopefully I'll hear more from you as soon as I figure out this comment thing.

Help me, Help others.

This is a long post, but please read it (at least the last paragraph) and PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT!  Help me, help others.

So, I've really been thinking about this stash of cash that's been building up in my desk drawer since August.  It's all my tithes and offerings from this school year.  I don't have a "church home" and so I haven't actually been tithing, but every two weeks when I get my paycheck I put roughly 12-15% in my desk drawer as my "tithe."  The thing is, 8 months have gone by and God's money is still just sitting in my drawer, collecting dust and occasionally being used to make change.  I've really been thinking about what to do with this money, I mean this stash of cash has turned into quite a large lump sum. Like I said before, I don't have a church that I regularly attend (or like enough to give my money to, no offense but I want a church I can believe in and that I know will put my money to good use) and I don't feel comfortable with giving my money to my church back in Texas either (I think there's a SERIOUS misuse of money that goes on there).  So what to do?

Well, I want to donate my money to a good cause for God.  I've looked into organizations such as FEED THE HUNGRY, Amazima Ministries, and A21, but I haven't felt God really pulling at my heart for any particular organization.  And there are just SO many out there it's hard to chose just one.  This is where YOU come in.  I know that just about all of my blog readers have a heart for something and I'd like to know how you would spend my God's money if you could?  What organization would you give it to?  Would you sponsor a child? Buy a pig to feed a family in Africa?  Just make a big donation somewhere? Make a bunch of little donations to several places?  What organizations do you know of that are doing some amazing things for God, changing lives, and making the most of their resources?  So please leave me a comment and give me the name of the organization you think I should donate to and why you believe in them.  Thanks so much guys, you can be sure that by commenting you will be helping me make a difference somewhere! Oh, and I will be sure to post where I will donate to once I decide.  Once again THANKS!

*side note* I don't mean this to be like, tell me what you think and I'll pick the best one, because there isn't just ONE "best" or really great cause out there.  There are TONS and I think God gives us a heart for different things. If we were all out to stop world hunger, who would help the orphans, or the widows, or the victims of abuse?  If we were all helping Africa who would help Russia, or America, or Nicaragua? I want to know what you're passionate about and hopefully that will either a) ignite that passion in me or b) help me find my own passion.