Dec. 23, 2009

I'm too busy to blog. I'm sorry bloggers of the world but I only blog when I don't have a life, or when I want to procrastinate on homework. Now that I'm home and happy and get to see Kyle and my seesters I am too busy to blog. Last update (if you can call it that) for awhile. Enjoy Christmas. Yes I refuse to say "happy holidays" because no one would give a crap about any "holidays" if it weren't for Christmas. so MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :)

p.s. Kyle made a trip to the guess store and I got some awesome gifts. Also, my grandmother is amazing.

If you like chocolate covered pretzles, come see me.

More word vomit.

Thanks for hurting my feelings. Why does it matter? I want to finish this darn Spanish paper but it's hard to get these last 200 words out. My legs are itchy and gross and I can't shave them yet. There's too much snow and yuck for me to drive to target and get some darn lotion for these itchy legs. I want some burts bees for christmas. I got $80 today for an old calc book and solutions manuel. Hello Christmas fund! I talked to Sar for an hour today. If you're not engaged, you're not engaged for a reason (whatever it may be) accept it. Maybe there's so many divorces because everyone gets married right out of highschool before they even graduate college. Here's a hint, get a degree. There's more to life than being married. Try and see past your bubble and do something with your life. This is not meant for those getting married in say a week or in June though. I'm actually excited about those weddings :) I'm not excited about something else. I want to finish this semester with at least 2 A's and I'm hoping for an A- in physiology and a B+ in physics. That'd make me purty darn happy.
THE END

Dec. 9, 2009

Today was productive. I wrote 3 papers this morning and now I'm going to try and write another two papers tonight. We'll see how that goes...
So. I did have a really awesome day today. It was a snow day which is nice because that means I had no class and that was wonderful. BUT there were 2 main highlights to my day.
1. My roommate is officially moving out and my good friend Aimee is officially moving in!!! Thank goodness because I can't handle living with anymore crazies! I love Aimee and I think she'll be a perfect fit for our current roommate dynamic.
2. OMGEE GLEE!! What an amazing way to end the fall season. Katherine watched it with Katelin and I and no TV show has ever made me that happy. The whole episode was complete bliss. Finn found out that he's not the father of Quinn's baby and Puck is and then Puck tried to be cool with him and Finn said umm NO. Sue got fired (thannnnnk goodness because everyone hates her and her vindictive personality). Rachel was amazing in her performance. Seriously the best voice I've ever heard. She's right up there with Celine Dion and Christina Aguilera. BEST PART: when Shoester and Emma kissed!! All three of us literally screamed like little girls all leading up to it and then screamed even louder when it happened. So fun. I love glee and I love those two.

p.s. My oatmeal bath was amazing (40 min of soaking and Celine Dion) and it really helped. Which is great because so far nothing else has been working. Oatmeal baths are now being worked into my schedule daily until this thing is resolved. I just used the word work like 12 times. Ok so only twice but it sounds wierd. OH WELL.

Hyperactive Basophills & God

The last few days have been stressful (remember that last part of my last blog? yeah...). On top of that my basophills are driving me nuts. If you were one of the few lucky people (Emily, Lauren, and my roommates) to see the gross product of my ovferactive basophills, you know what I'm talking about. Another oatmeal bath is indead in order after I finish this post.

Now for some probably nonsensical blabber.
The end of the semester is near. THANK GOODNESS. I got a new couch. I still haven't unpacked my suitcase from Thanksgiving and it looks like that's never going to happen. Found out some good news. Trying to make sure that good news happens. The two friends I'm setting up seems to be working out well! It's totally cute. Yeah.

So I've been really struggling (spelling? clearly I need spell check.) with writing my personal statement for my final paper in my 395H class. Could I have used the word "my" anymore in that last sentence? I need to sleep. OK, so, I've been having a hard time with this paper right. Well it's supposed to be about who we are, what we want to do, and why. We're actually writing our personal statements that we would submit for grad/med school ect and this class is really helpful because let's face it, I'm not that great of a writer. But Katelin really helped me out on this one and realize a few things about myself and the important relationship I have with my grandpa. Who would have thought huh? I decided that science is cool and I like it but that's not the reason I want to be a doctor. I just want to help people and I love physiology/anatomy/biochem so much that it just fits that I would help the less fortunate in that way. I realized that if I never made it into med school I'd be ok with that and instead I'd travel the world as a missionary. Seriously. I just want to help the poor and the needy (James 1:27). I'd love to be a doctor because I want to help the poor and the needy here in the U.S too (like be a bilingual healthcare provider in inner-city dallas) but if that's not what God want's for my life I am certain He wants me to be a missionary. I am praying that I get to go on a "medical mission" to Jamaica this spring break. That would be amazing/life-chainging/eye-opening and more. I WILL come up with the funds but I'm just praying that the people heading up this mission trip will schedule it for when I have my spring break. So keep me in your prayers for that. I love when God reveals himself to you through other people and He did that tonight through Katelin :)

also, I just realized that I never addressed the realization I said I made about my relationship with my grandpa. He confides in me with his medical issues, he believes that I can do this, he's incredibly proud of me, and he makes me want to become a doctor even more. For more details on this subject ask me to let you read my personal statement and I will.

Good night and HAPPY SNOW DAY!!
-which reminds me, WE HAD A SNOW DAY TODAY and we have ANOTHER ONE TOMORROW!! expect pictures. Kateling and I ran around taking dumb pictures, trying to straddle a tree, dropping her camera, and scaring Katherine. I suspect more ridiculous events are to come during tomorrows snowday.

Dec. 7, 2009

It snowed today!!
Katelin and I finally set the two love birds up in a little meet and greet. We invited them over to bake & decorate christmas goodies and they came and they met and they clicked! Well I hope so, you can never be sure with these things but so far a darn good start :)

OH AND

I'm completely nervous and stressed about everything. What you ask? EVERYTHING!!
life, kyle, military, school, graduating, overseas adventures the works.

Dec. 6, 2009

Why is it that every asshole I know from highschool goes to UT?
UT breeds animosity.
Obviously this post is being made in light of Nebraska loosing to them, however the reason I even mention it (because I really don't care that much about football) is because of the terribly rude remarks made by all the UT fans on my facebook. Using vulgarities against another school simply because of who they root for is just plain rude. Now it may seem as though I'm categorizing all UT goers as jerks, however this is not the case. I'm categorizing all the jerks I know as UT goers. Anyhow. Really facebook just reminds me of all the worst parts of highschool but enough about that I should just use facebook less.

I'm almost done christmas shopping!! I got some sweet deals at the mall today when shopping with Kateline and that was nice. I love her. We're so the same and compliment each other perfectly. But back to the deals. I got some stuff for Kyle, my sisters, Katherine, my mom, my dad... So now I'm almost done! I just have to order two pairs of jeans online for Kyle and I'm done! Buuuut. I know me and I know I'll see something that one of my sisters will love and I'll get it because it's reasonably priced and just perfect for them. Then I'll have to search for 3 other gifts for the other sisters to make all my gift giving equal and I'll drop 100 more bucks. But that's why I work. I always save half of every paycheck and the other half goes to Lauren's Christmas fund so that I can get my sisters whatever I want. I love getting them stuff that my parent's won't buy them or that they usually can't buy for themselves because I know how much they'll love it. Ahhhh I love Christmas!!

p.s. Kyle's parent's bought a land rover. That is both completely ridiculous and completely predictable.

Oh and happy 2.5 years sweetthing. We've finally reached the halfway mark :)

Dec. 3, 2009

"I miss home"
"Home misses you"

I do miss home. I'm not very happy with school and my graduating status right now. My minor requires 28 hours of Spanish BEFORE i can even start working towards my Spanish minor!! So after I take my 28 hours, which I have not completed, I need to take 9 more to graduate. And an art credit. And 3 science classes a semester from now till I graduate. I was told over break that Spain is out of the question. I really wanted to go because I could work for the Spanish Red Cross or at a hosptital while I was there. HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE!? Too bad it's about $14,000 for a semester... I am determined to go overseas though. I think I'm going to try and do some mission work in some Spanish speaking country instead. I just want to learn how to speak Spanish and help some people while doing it. That's all I want.
Please appreciate what you have today, and go after what you want tomorrow.

Blaaaah

I like playing match-maker. Katelin and I are trying to set up two of our good friends. We'll see what happens this weekend. I'll keep you updated.

I'm kind-of-watching the VS fashion show. These models are ridicuously thin and good-looking. Too thin I'd say but to each his own right? They are pretty fit though.

That's it for now I suppose. Lots to do, lots to do!

*Note*

I've noticed my blogs are getting boringly long. I'll update more so I don't cram so much into a single post. I seriously don't think more than maybe five people read it, but oh well, I'll still update more and write less. Suggestions on improvement would be appreciated, but I like things my way so no promises.

Lots of Thoughts

Okay. So. In my 395H class we talked about writing and getting our thoughts out of our head and onto paper so we can at least materialize them and then sift through them to see what's important. Bottom line, we should spit everything out and then go back to revise and throw stuff out. So I'm spitting all my thoughts out and you can take from them what you deem important, organize them, and toss the rest.

I'm in a bad mood. I want to go home, I'm sick of this long distance thing. Kyle's eyesight isn't good enough (we both saw it coming but were hoping for the best). Lasik? Wait a year? Different job? Scrap idea completely? I doged a bullet at the doctor's office today and I'm glad for it. I even got a new perscription and two months of it filled at that. Thanksgiving was good. It was the first time Kyle and I spend it together as in sat down with each other's families to eat. We cut it close though eating two Thanksgivings in 3 hours. Best trip Kyle and I have had by far. We needed it. If you think I whine about Kyle tell me and I'll prolly never talk to you again. I don't care if that's what you think, you don't know the half of it. Try living 700 miles apart for 4 1/2 years from the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. 4 1/2 years! Then come talk to me and see if you still think I whine a lot. And trust me, Kyle and I would much rather go 6 months, heck even a full year of only letter communication instead of this nonsense in a heartbeat. I hope we're not apart for longer than that(4 years that is). I bought a ton of Christmas presents over the break. Exciting :) I love christmas shopping and buying things for the people I love. Um, please think before you speak and don't force your opinion on others. Maybe you think it's trashy but not everyone does. Everyone's sick of your holyier-than-thou attitude. Everyone. I probably didn't spell holyier right but I don't care enough to look it up. This is why I'm a biochem major and getting a bachelor's of science and not a bachelor's of arts (again I'm pretty sure I spelled bachelor's wrong). Good luck to all for the next three weeks. Oh goodness I know I'll need it.

Oh and I love you Kyle! :)

wpr

Wine and Pizza Rolls!!!!
hooray for girls night with my seester.

we went to target for a little window shopping and we ended up with all the supplies necessary for a great night along with a few christmas pressents. now we're on our second helping of pizza rolls, a chocolate cake in the oven, and our glasses are empty :)

i love seester time.

That Others May Live

I have an extremely important prayer request.
Please pray for Kyle and his many life decisions that are rapidly approaching. Before Kyle had ever met me his whole plan after graduating highschool was to join the military. His grandpa served for 25 years and his dad served for 6 (I think buut I'm not sure... but the point is he comes from a military family) so naturally he wanted to follow in their footsteps. Then he started dating me right after graduation and everything changed. He postponed joining the military because he didn't want to leave or be deployed. He was basically young, dumb, and in love. Since we've been together he's looked into joining but never seriously. Now, he's seriously looking at joining the airforce. I am fully supportive of any decision he makes but I'd appreciate any and all prayers for a Godly decision. Pray that God reveals his plans for Kyle's life to Kyle and that any decision he makes is one based on a clear conviction that can only come from our Father. It'd be much appreciated.
Also, I'm going to need some prayer as well. I'm 100% supportive of any decision Kyle makes in this matter but that doesn't mean it will be easy. Kyle wants to be a pararesueman which one of the prestigious and one of the most dangerous jobs in the military. It's the kind of program that only takes men (sorry GI-Jane) before they're 29th birthday. Meaning you have to be in tip top physical shape to do all the crazy stuff they do. They jump out of plans into combat areas, restricted enviornments, the ocean, and anywhere else accesible only by plane to perform rescue missions. Pararescuemen are basically intense combat medics that perform rescue missions to the otherwise un-rescuable (if that makes sense). So it's really dangereous, they can be called for deployment at any time, and it's really hard to get into. So, needless to say I'll need some prayers. If Kyle signs with the airforce I'll be asking for the the following prayers
1. That he gets accepted into this program because it's his dream
2. That he stays safe throughout training and throughout his millitary career
3. That I can deal with more long distance, deployment, and the fact that the person I love with all my heart is risking his life on a daily basis.

That being said, I completely trust God with this decision and am totally excited to see what God has in store for Kyle (and me by default)! I know that Kyle would be an awesome pararescueman. He's a total andrenaline-junkie and thrill-seeker. The job description of a pararescueman fits him to a T! He loves saving lives (best part of his current fire-fighting job), he loves emergency medicine, he loves to swim and is awesome at it, and he has always wanted to just run and jump out of a plane (yes he is totally crazy for that one). Life with Kyle will always be an adventure :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL80-7FYo0E&feature=fvw

Nov. 9, 2009

Hillary's daddy died 4 years ago today.
Her parents were so in love and I've never seen anyone so torn apart in my life as I have in the past 4 years as her mom struggled and dealt with John's death. I admire her so much. She put herself through school and took care of her kids all while her husband was dying. Hillary handled things with more patience and grace than I ever could have mustered and she is really the glue that held her family together. So, I dedicate this post to the Gallego women and their incredible strength.

"Here's to you my sweet boy... Miss you. You still are the only one other than your girls to fill my heart. The three of them are doing well and have grown up to make you proud but you know that already don't you." - Debbie

I love you Hill and I'm so thankful that God has blessed me with your friendship for a decade.

II Corinthians 28:20

I don't even post blogs everyday so two in one day is quite unusual. I just thought I'd give a little shout out (i know my word choice is lame but I feel it's appropriate) to God. Here's how today went.
I woke up, ate the delicious french toast breakfast my roommates boyfriend Travis made everyone. Went back to sleep for a bit. Re-woke up and worked on homework, then posted my "Naked" blog. Literally right after I posted it, I had an intense need to pee. Which meant leaving my room, and with 2 boys staying in my apartment over the weekend (my roomates boyfriends) I could not walk two feet out of my bedroom and into my bathroom while naked. Usually I would, but like I said, there were boys here. So I got dressed and realized I couldn't use my bathroom because the roommate I share a bathroom with has a discusting boyfriend who pees everywhere and doesn't wash his hands. Oh and he doesn't close the lid when he flushes the toilet so all of his wastes spray up 6 ft in the air in every direction. Needless to say I couldn't touch anything or even walk into my bathroom until my rm cleaned it. The other bathroom was occupied so I had to travel all the way down to the first floor and use the "family" bathroom. My naked mood was ruined.
That ended my naked day, and started my crappy day.
I peed and cried all day thanks to my new acne medicines I started last night. I'm on a diuretic for my face and on bc for my face. OH and I have a giant physiology test tomorrow over the digestive system, the cardiac system, the muscular system, and metabolism. I'm probably going to fail it. Today sucked! I've been a mess. And then God picked me up and said hey guess what Lauren, it's all going to be ok because I'm taking care of you. It's only a test. Only one test. If you fail so what, do better next time, and you're doing the best with what you've got going on right now. Just remember to trust in Me and everything will be fine.
Yep. God told me that and it made everything better. I love talking to him.

Naked Day

I love naked days! There are few things more refreshing than sleeping naked, waking up naked, and spending the day as naked as possible. I do have roommates so obviously my entire day can't be spent naked, but while in the privacy of my own room, I'm naked. I challenge everyone who reads this blog (which is probably anwhere from 0-5 people haha) to try and have a naked day, or a naked hour this week and see how it makes you feel. It's nice to get out of the shower and not get dressed right away. Put on lotion, blow dry your hair, paint your nails, write a letter, and then get dressed. I think everyone should be comfortable in their own skin and learn to appreciate the body God gave them. I think all too often we see practically naked girls on tv/in magazines ect and we loose appreciation for the human body. We see someone half dressed and we usually think one of two things (or both).
1) What a skank! I would never wear that.
2)I wish I looked that good half dressed.

I think Christian women especially hide their bodies the most and are very insecure with their bodies. That should change. While I'm not advocating that everyone walk around half-dressed saying it's ok, this is the body God gave me, I do think personal naked time is important, relaxing, and rewarding. So instead I'm saying, cover up in public, but in private let it all hang out and appreciate yourself for the way you were made. I really do think that if we got more of a chance to just be in our bodies without the clothes, the make up and the hair we'd become more comfortable with our bodies and the way we were made.

Enjoy a naked day, I am!

enjoy my whining.

I shouldn't complain, but since no one reads this anyway and this is my blog, I'm going to.
I wish I saw kyle more than once every few months. I'm really glad I got to see him over fallbreak but it was scattered with silly fights. The longer we've been apart, the more we fight and 9 weeks is the longest we've ever been apart so that generated our worst ever fight. But we're used to it. We know how to work through it and that's what's most important. So it's only been a week and a half and I'm already ready to see him again. I know I probably shouldn't, but I've been keeping track on my calander each day that I see him so that the end of the year I'll know exactly how much time we got to spend together. I'm sure it'll be depressing because I'm only at like what... 100? and that's including our summer together because I didn't get to see him as much as I wanted. Ahhh. We've done it for 2 years now and only, hmm 2 1/2 more years of this. It's seriously so hard to handle and I can't say I've really found someone to relate to (which SUCKS!). I think the hardest thing about our relationship is the fact that we were thrown into this whole mess after only 2 months of dating. It definetly did not have time to grow and mature while we were together and doing it apart is just that much harder. I just miss him so much dang it.

So I know I talk about kyle quite a bit and I've ranted about our relationship this whole blog but when someone/somthing is this important to your life, it's hard not to. Speak of the devil, he's calling me now :)

So long, farewell, auf weidersehen goodbye

I hate losing friends. I invest so much time/emotions/energy into them that they become a part of me and when I lose a good friend I feel like I'm missing out (and I am) and losing a peice of my life that was dear to me. I lost a close friend this year. I guess she up and decided to spend her time with others and take her friendship elsewhere. I didn't do anything wrong, other than be myself. So I suppose she was never the kind of friend I wanted in the first place. Anyhow, I've made many better ones this year and I love them dearly!
I did think of my lost friend tonight though and it made me a bit sad.

Back to the Basics

I'm getting back what I've really been missing this semester. God. I need him and it's really easy to forget that when I'm so busy with school and work and volunteering and friends. God gave me some really wonderful roomates and a new best friend this year and instead of thanking him for that and really appreciating all that he does for me I've pretty much just put him on the back burner and relied on my friends for everything. Luckily my bestfriend is helping me get back to what I need and we're doing it together. Thank you Lord, you always take care of me.

Yes, No, Maybe So...

I promise to make one real and grown up decision by myself for myself within one year from today.

I've never actually made a real decision about my life. I let my parents choose my school. I let them decide when I graduate. I let Kyle dictate my summers. Oh and I depend on everybody else for just about everything else. You see I'm terrified of making decisions. Real decisions. Everyday decisions are even difficult for me. That's why every date we go on, Kyle choses my meal, picks the movie, picks the color, EVERYTHING! Needless to say, making decisions that affect the rest of my life are completely overwhelming. So. I simply don't make them. I'm terrified of making the wrong decision so I'm always asking other people what they think and letting them choose for me. Plus, that way if it goes wrong, it's not my fault, it's their fault for telling me the wrong choice when I trusted them. Dumb, I know.

Well not anymore!
I am 20 gosh darn it and I will learn to start making my own decisions.
I will make one terribly important life-decision by the end of next year. I'm promising myself.

Tired and Tyra.

uhhh I am soooo tired. I've had a headache all day and skipped my first two classes of the day. I feel like it should be Friday already and it should.
so
I'm all caught up on Glee now! One week ago I turned on So You Think You Can Dance while cooking dinner after work and I left the tv on without changing it. Then. I became hooked on Glee! After one episode I fell in looove. So for the past week I've caught up on glee and started ANTM again. Internet tv is so great because now you can be productive when you need to and watch your favorite shows when you have time. Back to ANTM.
TYRA IS RIDICULOUS!!
I'm pretty sick of her actually.
There's a story behind every weirdo on the show.
One girls is modeling for Jesus, oh but she's kissed another girl before. But to be fair, she does her part for humanity and shimmies and shakes her bum while dancing for the homeless every friday night after she feeds them at a shelter.
Another brings a rusty wheel barrow to highschool in place of a backpack and has an obsession with eyeballs. She nicknamed herself bloody-eyeball. She also can't figure out why she doesn't fit in and have friends.
One girl used to get beat by her boyfriend so she shaved her head.
One girl lives in a trailer with her husband and some roommates. They don't have plumbing so they pee in the yard and if they have to "go number two" they go to the gas station down the street.
Tyra. YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.
And I don't care how skinny you get, I don't want to see your belly anymore please.

only $12

so
Facebook wants me to be a skank. It has been bombarding me with firefighter adds for the longest time now and they seem to be getting worse and facebook seems to be getting smarter. Now facebook knows that I'm not a firefighter, but that I'm dating one. The following are "catchy" phrases that are either plastered on white thongs for my "fun time", a fitted tee for me to wear, or on a "fitted tee" for "my firefighter" to wear (what firefighter wears a fitted tee!?)

11. Practice Safe Sex, Sleep with a Firefighter (thong and fitted tee)
10. I Put Out (accompanied by a picture of a fire extinguisher) (fitted tee)
9. Firefighter's Bitch (thong and fitted tee)
8. Find 'em Hot, Leave 'em Wet (fitted tee)
7. Firefighters Do It With A Long Hose (fitted tee)
6. Firefighters Like It Dirty, Hot, and Wet (thong)
5. Firefighter's Entrance (thong)
4. Firefighter's Hose Only (thong)
3. Get Wet, Ride a Fireman (thong and fitted tee)
2. Firefighter's Sex Slave (thong and fitted tee)
1. Firefighter's Instert Here (thong)

Am I about to join the ranks of white trash women everywhere by marrying a Texas firefighter? Are women wearing these $12 thongs, and fitted tees going to become my friends as the "wives" get together for lunch and girlie things? I seriously hope that there are some classier ladies out there marying firefighters than the ones buying the t-shirts and skanky thongs.

love in it's purest sense.

real and true unconditional pure love.
That's the kind of love that's been on my mine lately. I can't get it out of my head. The kind between you and your soulmate (because I honestly do believe that everyone has one and only one true soulmate, though they don't always find each other- and if they do they aren't forever together).
yes that's it.
forever together.
That's what can describe this love. This pure pure love.
Anyway, I see it in my grandparents and I can't help but long for that kind of love. It's 57 years of unabiding love and it grows every day. Seeing them together and being more in love with each other every day makes me sure of my love. Kyle and I's love. I know that one day we'll be the example of love it's purest sense.

more lysol please

yes yes yes.
more lysol please!

I cannot lysol my apartment enough with my new roommate and her boyfriend.
siiick.
Also, I need some oust to kill the odor causing bacteria (caused by said roommate) in the air.
p.s. Ihave begun to eat lysol as it saturates the air of my entire apartment.

on a better note,
or maybe not so better,
i'm studying and writing papers allll weekend.
However, I will make time to eat some yummy acorn squash and roasted red pepper chicken alfredo, take a bath, paint my nails, and do some yoga. Not bad for a lonely night in eh? I love "lonely" nights in. I can do as I please for hours on end and do wonderfuly unproductive things like organize and take hour long bubble baths :)
Happy 300th sellout game where everyone else in the state of Nebraska is consumed by the game and I am left to enjoy my lonely peace and quiet!

At least I'm trying

Since I've last blogged here's what's transpired...

amanda's engaged
i'm back at school
kyle's in school
my roommate makes me uncomfortable
i love my other two roommates
i miss home
i'm working out
i'm slacking in school again

Good enough update??
I'll try and update more (don't I say that in every single post?) but no promises.
school tomorrow, lab write-up tonight.

current best song of the moment (week/month): hillsong united-till I see you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsGF9xJl9ZY

typical me

i've been slacking on my blogging. like alot.
i'm actually really terrible at starting new habits. i'm all gung-ho at the beggining but then the excitement of the new, fun, feel good habit starts to dye down and i get busy and lazy so my new idea i so excitedly tried to turn into a habit, soon dies out. anyway,
i'm back home (another reason i haven't been blogging). i love being back with my family and boyfriend. i don't have too many friends left here, but i still LOVE coming back home. my sisters and kyle are my best friends so i don't care too much about anything else. kyle and i had our 2 year, my bday came and went, along with sarah's graduation and my families visits down to texas. i started work and it's... well it's tolerable. i like the kids, love my co-workers (most of em), but i don't like getting my hours cut! i got 14 hrs this week! that's um alot. and i need to make some money for all my roadtrips i want to take with kyle this summer. we wanna go down to austin and visit my good friend jon and to arkansas to visit kyle's mom and to colorado to visit my grandparents. yea i think i might have to pick just one...
so i guess that's a good an update as any seeing as how i really don't think anyone reads this other than myself. who would when i never update! but really, i'm going to try and do better at updating.

oh and ps! kyle fought his first structre fire yesterday! and he's doing awesome at his new job at the church and he's doing awesome at the fire house and in his firemen classes. everyone loves him, which is no suprise because he's absolutely awesome!! :)

and and pps. sarah has a new boy interest. SUPER exciting because none of my close friends have had new exciting boy interests in a long time.

ok seriously, the end.

be humbled.

This is why I want to be a doctor.

I was googling pictures for my honors project that I'm doing in my spanish class that I contracted to be honors. I have to do a presentation on how the Spanish language relates to my major. I'm focusing on how Spanish relates to being pre-med because i want to do medical missions overseas. So I google "medical missions" and this picture pops up. I click on it, and I instantly start bawling. You can see joy radiating out of this child's heart. Most of us don't have that kind of joy and we have a lot more to be thankful for than he does. This just reminded me of why God put me on this earth. To care for those who can't care for themselves. This could not have come at a better time because I've been questioning my mental abilities and doubting that I can get into and survive medical school. Then God shows me something like this and it's like he's saying, no, I want this for you and for your life and I'm calling you to something more. I want YOU to take care of these children in ways that their parents and government can't. I want to reveal myself to these children through you.

For pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

sometimes

things fall apart.
my fault? your fault? both our faults?
do i let go? or hang on?
i don't know.

so... what now?

Gianni Bini please.

Today was aweful.

I was sick nearly all day. I threw up this morning and the nausia lasted all day. I finally started to feel well enough to leave the aprtment and go to my study group and a few hours into my organic homework, I was feeling sick again. But now I'm back home cuddled up with my blanket and build a bear bunny (both from kyle) watching Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail. I'm a huge Meg Ryan fan and I'm really loving this movie. I don't think anything can beat her in When Harry Met Sally though. It's one of my favorite movies.

Also, on Friday I bought some gorgeous shoes. A wee bit expensive (although they were 40% off) but my 20th birthday is coming up in a month so I feel like I deserved them. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to be 20 soon! Geesh. I know I'm only 19 but sometimes it feels like i'm already 19! I feel like I went to be a 7 year old litle girl and then I woke up and I'm almost 20. I seem pretty lame right? Being upset that I'm turning 20. You're twenties are supposed to be the best times of your life. And one year closer to graduating, one year closer to med school, and one more year closer to my honey and my family (having them that is). I'm excited. Yes, I'm going to decide to be 100% excited about this new birthday!

These are my new summer shoes and I LOVE them!

Time to Buckle Down

It's almost the end of the year, almost. I'm so excited for summer but my excitement is turning into procrastination. However, my proctrastination has been productive. I finished a book I borrowed from Amanda on Monday. It's called A Long Way Gone, memoirs of a boy soldier by Ishmael Beah. Incredible book, completely inspiring. I recomend it to anyone. Oh and I finally finished Sex God by Rob Bell and I loved that book as well. Ok, actually I loved it more. It talks about spirituality and sexuality and how completely intertwined they are. The book basically says that our sexuality is all of the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, each other, and with God. Favorite quote from the book:

"It is possible for Hell to invade earth but it is also possible for Heaven to invade earth, and you can be that Heaven."

So should you read it? I think so.

this might end up like another old notebook

Ok…
So I”m completely new to blogging save an old embarassing xanga site from long long ago. We’ll see how it goes… I really enjoy reading other peoples blogs, maybe it’s because I’m nosey, but maybe it’s because I really enjoy thinking and so I enjoy reading others’ thoughts. I secretly hope no one will really read this, and that lots of people will read it all at the same time. I’m not exactly sure how often I’ll update this, but I’d like to keep things pretty up-to-date so I can look back and remember how I felt and what I was thinking during a particular time. But this might end up like another old notebook, with only one or two entries, each a year or more apart because I had forgotten about them and gotten too busy. Let’s hope not.

Oh, and I just thought I'd start out my new blog with a picture of some kind, not really sure why. So this is my lovely tree outside my house in Texas the day it bloomed.