Back to the Basics

I'm getting back what I've really been missing this semester. God. I need him and it's really easy to forget that when I'm so busy with school and work and volunteering and friends. God gave me some really wonderful roomates and a new best friend this year and instead of thanking him for that and really appreciating all that he does for me I've pretty much just put him on the back burner and relied on my friends for everything. Luckily my bestfriend is helping me get back to what I need and we're doing it together. Thank you Lord, you always take care of me.

Yes, No, Maybe So...

I promise to make one real and grown up decision by myself for myself within one year from today.

I've never actually made a real decision about my life. I let my parents choose my school. I let them decide when I graduate. I let Kyle dictate my summers. Oh and I depend on everybody else for just about everything else. You see I'm terrified of making decisions. Real decisions. Everyday decisions are even difficult for me. That's why every date we go on, Kyle choses my meal, picks the movie, picks the color, EVERYTHING! Needless to say, making decisions that affect the rest of my life are completely overwhelming. So. I simply don't make them. I'm terrified of making the wrong decision so I'm always asking other people what they think and letting them choose for me. Plus, that way if it goes wrong, it's not my fault, it's their fault for telling me the wrong choice when I trusted them. Dumb, I know.

Well not anymore!
I am 20 gosh darn it and I will learn to start making my own decisions.
I will make one terribly important life-decision by the end of next year. I'm promising myself.

Tired and Tyra.

uhhh I am soooo tired. I've had a headache all day and skipped my first two classes of the day. I feel like it should be Friday already and it should.
so
I'm all caught up on Glee now! One week ago I turned on So You Think You Can Dance while cooking dinner after work and I left the tv on without changing it. Then. I became hooked on Glee! After one episode I fell in looove. So for the past week I've caught up on glee and started ANTM again. Internet tv is so great because now you can be productive when you need to and watch your favorite shows when you have time. Back to ANTM.
TYRA IS RIDICULOUS!!
I'm pretty sick of her actually.
There's a story behind every weirdo on the show.
One girls is modeling for Jesus, oh but she's kissed another girl before. But to be fair, she does her part for humanity and shimmies and shakes her bum while dancing for the homeless every friday night after she feeds them at a shelter.
Another brings a rusty wheel barrow to highschool in place of a backpack and has an obsession with eyeballs. She nicknamed herself bloody-eyeball. She also can't figure out why she doesn't fit in and have friends.
One girl used to get beat by her boyfriend so she shaved her head.
One girl lives in a trailer with her husband and some roommates. They don't have plumbing so they pee in the yard and if they have to "go number two" they go to the gas station down the street.
Tyra. YOU ARE RIDICULOUS.
And I don't care how skinny you get, I don't want to see your belly anymore please.

only $12

so
Facebook wants me to be a skank. It has been bombarding me with firefighter adds for the longest time now and they seem to be getting worse and facebook seems to be getting smarter. Now facebook knows that I'm not a firefighter, but that I'm dating one. The following are "catchy" phrases that are either plastered on white thongs for my "fun time", a fitted tee for me to wear, or on a "fitted tee" for "my firefighter" to wear (what firefighter wears a fitted tee!?)

11. Practice Safe Sex, Sleep with a Firefighter (thong and fitted tee)
10. I Put Out (accompanied by a picture of a fire extinguisher) (fitted tee)
9. Firefighter's Bitch (thong and fitted tee)
8. Find 'em Hot, Leave 'em Wet (fitted tee)
7. Firefighters Do It With A Long Hose (fitted tee)
6. Firefighters Like It Dirty, Hot, and Wet (thong)
5. Firefighter's Entrance (thong)
4. Firefighter's Hose Only (thong)
3. Get Wet, Ride a Fireman (thong and fitted tee)
2. Firefighter's Sex Slave (thong and fitted tee)
1. Firefighter's Instert Here (thong)

Am I about to join the ranks of white trash women everywhere by marrying a Texas firefighter? Are women wearing these $12 thongs, and fitted tees going to become my friends as the "wives" get together for lunch and girlie things? I seriously hope that there are some classier ladies out there marying firefighters than the ones buying the t-shirts and skanky thongs.

love in it's purest sense.

real and true unconditional pure love.
That's the kind of love that's been on my mine lately. I can't get it out of my head. The kind between you and your soulmate (because I honestly do believe that everyone has one and only one true soulmate, though they don't always find each other- and if they do they aren't forever together).
yes that's it.
forever together.
That's what can describe this love. This pure pure love.
Anyway, I see it in my grandparents and I can't help but long for that kind of love. It's 57 years of unabiding love and it grows every day. Seeing them together and being more in love with each other every day makes me sure of my love. Kyle and I's love. I know that one day we'll be the example of love it's purest sense.

more lysol please

yes yes yes.
more lysol please!

I cannot lysol my apartment enough with my new roommate and her boyfriend.
siiick.
Also, I need some oust to kill the odor causing bacteria (caused by said roommate) in the air.
p.s. Ihave begun to eat lysol as it saturates the air of my entire apartment.

on a better note,
or maybe not so better,
i'm studying and writing papers allll weekend.
However, I will make time to eat some yummy acorn squash and roasted red pepper chicken alfredo, take a bath, paint my nails, and do some yoga. Not bad for a lonely night in eh? I love "lonely" nights in. I can do as I please for hours on end and do wonderfuly unproductive things like organize and take hour long bubble baths :)
Happy 300th sellout game where everyone else in the state of Nebraska is consumed by the game and I am left to enjoy my lonely peace and quiet!

At least I'm trying

Since I've last blogged here's what's transpired...

amanda's engaged
i'm back at school
kyle's in school
my roommate makes me uncomfortable
i love my other two roommates
i miss home
i'm working out
i'm slacking in school again

Good enough update??
I'll try and update more (don't I say that in every single post?) but no promises.
school tomorrow, lab write-up tonight.

current best song of the moment (week/month): hillsong united-till I see you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsGF9xJl9ZY